my first love

"People don't play sports because its fun. Ask any athlete, 

most of them hate it, but they couldn't imagine their life with out it. 

Its part of them, the love/hate relationship. its what they live for. They 

live for the practices, parties, cheers, long bus rides, 

invitationals, countless pairs of different types of shoes, water, 

Gatorade, & coaches you hate but appreciate. They live for the way 

it feels when they beat the other team, and knowing those two 

extra sprints they ran in practice were worth it. They live for the

 way they become a family with their team, they live for the 

 countless songs they sing in their head while training all those 

hours. They live for the competition, they live for the friends, the practices, 

the memories, the pain, its who they are. It's who we are: WE ARE ATHLETES."

I was six years old when my parents bought me my first softball glove. It was small and cheap, something that I could have to start playing t-ball with. I'm pretty sure I only signed up to play t-ball because all of my first grade friends were. I didn't know the first thing about the sport, let alone the knowledge of catching a ball in a glove. During one of my first games, I tripped over first base and cried. A couple parents said, "That girl will never be a softball player".

As time grew on, my love for the game grew as well. My mom became a coach and I told her I wanted to play first base. She told me that if I was going to play first base, I was going to have to earn the position. I wasn't going to have a free ride just because she was the coach.

Boy oh boy, did I ever work hard to improve my skill. I bought a better glove that I could actually use. I begged my mom to throw with me every day after school. I remember we put in hours and hours of practice, just throwing back and forth, until I perfected the skill the best a third grader could. I wanted that first base position on the Rockhill Little Ladies team.


























My hard work paid off, I got it. My best friend Brittney played "pitcher". I put pitcher in quotation marks because we didn't actually pitch in tball, we hit off of a tee. But most of the balls got hit to her, and she had a good arm. We were nicknamed the Dynamic Duo by the parents because most of the plays of the game consisted of the other team hitting the ball to Britt, Britt picking up the ball, throwing it to me, and I would follow through with the catch and the out. Our team went undefeated that year.

After that year, Britt and I moved up together to the "modified" level which was basically the same as tball, but with a pitcher and without the tee. Britt moved to shortstop and I stayed at first base. The "Britt-Hil" combo lived on! But to add to the team talent, not just us, but our group of friends that all played together got better too. We all inspired each other to improve our skills and be a better team. The Rockhill team ended up being the top team for three years straight. We had the best times together.

Our "modified" softball team. I am on the far right end, with my arm around Britt.

Modified All Stars. Britt and I are in the middle row, in the red jerseys (i'm the middle one and britt is the one on the left)

As this was going on, Brittney and I were getting attention from the fast pitch coaches. They recognized our talent and invited us to play with the "big dogs" sometimes as substitutes. They were training us to be the best. We loved it.

I'm the one in the middle row on the right end. And i'm standing beside Matt's sister, Jenny. This was before Matt and I were dating

We started playing in various traveling leagues and different tournaments. We got to hang out with the cooler older girls, listened to them gab about high school, even sometimes got to go out to eat with them as a team. I wanted to be just like them.

Me and Kristen (The left two) met some new friends at softball camp. We had a blast together!

As we grew older, Britt devoted her time to basketball (which she was amazing at! She ended up scoring over 1,000 career points and was a 4-year starter) and I joined the high school softball team. The first year I was on JV and pitched, but also practiced with the Varsity as well if they needed me. Our Varsity ended up going to states that year! But even as I was on JV, the Varsity coaches were practicing with me and a few other girls to help us get ready for next year to step up to be on the Varsity team.

The coaches convinced me that the outfield was where I belonged. Although I questioned it at the time, I listened to what they said because I desperately wanted to be on the team. They started training me in the outfield, which I previously had no prior experience there. (First base was always my home!)

This was my Freshman year in High School. I was on the JV team and was the pitcher.

I hated outfield with a burning passion. It wasn't what I was used to. I felt like there was more pressure on you as an outfielder and if you missed a ball, you were in deep sh*t with the coaches. Plus, whenever I did something wrong, I was really hard on myself.

My 10th grade year, the year I was supposed to move up to Varsity, something didn't feel right. The coaches were not encouraging at all. If you made one little mistake, you better believe you would get screamed at. I would cry every night when I came home from practice. As much as I loved the sport, I absolutely hated the pressure I was being put under.

I decided to quit softball that year and join the track team. When I told my softball coach that I was done, I remember her looking at me straight in the eyes and said, "But Hil... you are so good".

My mom and my coach talked to each other on the phone and both admitted to each other that they cried over the situation. I had a hard time finding symphony for my old coach. Even though she was a great person off the field, she was a real witch when it came to softball.

That coach ended up losing a lot of star players because of her attitude towards the game. It was all work and no fun, and that is not what a high school sport should be about. I had success in track that year, but not the kind of success I had in softball. But you know what, I was a lot happier that year than I would have been if I would have stayed in softball.

I look back on my softball career and it just makes me really sad now. My whole childhood was devoted to the love I had for the game. I have multiple scars on my legs from sliding. I had dreams of playing in college. Sometimes I wish I would have stuck it out, grinned and bared it, but most of the time I'm glad I saved myself the tears. But one thing is for sure, I will always have a big soft spot in my heart for that game.