No one prepares you for the death of a loved one. My great grandma Anna was 95 years old when she passed away in March, and although I always knew my time with her was limited, I secretly thought that she would live to be 100 and beyond. Once I said to her, "Grandma, you are going to live to be 100". Her response? "Oh, I hope not!"
I still am bitter about how everything happened. A few months ago, February 10th to be exact, I came home from D.C. for a week between my days off. One morning I woke up and thought, "I'm going to call Grandma Anna and have lunch with her today". So I called her, took over an Italian hoagie from the local OIP, and we had lunch together. We shared the hoagie and also ate some canned pears. She was talking so much that I had completely finished my lunch while she only had took a couple bites. I loved listening to her stories. Most of the time, our visits consisted of me just sitting there listening to her talk while drinking coffee.
Her legs were very swollen that day. She had problems with the veins in her legs, and didn't have good venous return. The blood would back up in her legs and they would swell. That day, they were so swollen that I saw fluid leaking down them. She told me that she was going to go see the doctor soon.
I remember I didn't stay long that day because I had plans to go see a couple friends from high school. Looking back, I wish I would have stayed longer. When I was walking out the door, I heard her say "Goodbye dearheart! I love you!" I remember walking to my car and thinking about how she always called me "dearheart" and I thought it was so funny and sweet.
Anyways, she ended up going to the hospital a couple days after that for her legs. They were so swollen that she had trouble lifting them and walking. They were like clubs. She was admitted to the hospital, and within a day they were back to normal size! Grandma was so excited that she started talking about going back to church and even finding a dress so she could come to my wedding.
The next day, things took a turn for the worse. It turns out that my Grandma went into the hospital at the very worse time possible: Flu season. She caught the flu from other residents in the hospital, and it was horrible. She was 95 and her body couldn't take it. She became so weak that she couldn't even lift her head off the pillow. She had a ton of phlegm in her throat that she couldn't cough up. From there, she never really recovered. She wasn't able to move around like before, and she couldn't take care of herself. I was so angry. If she hadn't gone to the hospital, she would still be healthy. I felt like she still had a ton of life left that she was being robbed of. She passed away on March 23rd.
My grandma had an amazing life that we should be thankful for. She lived to be 95 years old and was mostly healthy the entire time. Her mind never left her one bit, up until the very end. She was witty. She cared so much about her family. I talked with her on the phone often and she was always interested in my traveling adventures.
I was able to take a couple things from her house to keep: an electric knife, a pie plate, some homemade jelly, and best of all: her recipes that are all in her handwriting. She was an amazing cook and loved to cook for all of us. Hopefully now I can continue making some of her favorite dishes that my someday family will enjoy.
My middle name is Anna, after her. She always called me her "namesake". I've never been more proud to be named after such an amazing woman. I'll always think of her when I write my full name. I'll always think of her when I see the first robin in the spring. And I'll always think of her when my peonies bloom at the end of May.
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